1 year anniversary

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my friend and colleague Faheem's tragic death. We had an email today sent out at work to ask us do a 1 minute of silence just remembering his life.. I can't help but be saddened all over again... I can't even imagine how his parents and sisters will feel today especially when his death was so unexpected, so unfair, so tragic... I miss him so much.

Anyhow, here is my column that I wrote from this time last year of when I first heard the news:

Posted on: Jan 30th 2005

Such Is Life.....

There I was last night watching the news about the Full moon beach party held annually in Thailand that went horribly wrong this year.. how a speedboat took 40+ppl on when it can only carry 25 and it capsized.. and then I heard how ppl drowned and how 2Aussies were missing.. both around 22-23y.o...
I remember at that time I was thinking.. how silly Can U get to go on a boat that can carry only 25! Ur asking for trouble.. and that was it I didn't think any of it..

So this arvo, my manager gives me a call and asked me if I heard about the news about the boat that capsized in Thailand.. when she said that, immediately I felt sick.. and then she said.. well it's Faheem who's missing.. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I Was absolutely dumbfounded... Shocked by the fact that the next day, he should've been coming back from his 4weeks holiday around the world!

Faheem's the nicest guy at P&G. Faheem started the same day as me at P&G. He does Finance and is such a genius in Actuary too.. He just moved down to Melb from Syd in NOV to the Coles team and was ready to really set his career on fire.. and there I was telling him that when I get back from my trip to M'sia I'll show him around Melb.. During Christmas time, each employee received a box worth of goodies.. one of them was a bottle of Baileys.. he didn't want his and he offered it to me when there was another 17 employees in the office.. So now everytime I look at the bottle of Bailey's I think of him.. I don't think I'll ever open that bottle EVER! The other strange thing that happened before his death > During our P&G annual Christmas dinner at the Grand Hyatt, I took a pic with him.. my one and only one.. So I looked at it when I got home and realised it was a really bad pic of me.. and had wanted to delete it.. but I had this odd feeling.. telling not to.. cos it's the only pic of him.. but then I deleted anyways cos I thought there will be plenty of other opportunities.. GOSH HOW MUCH DO I REGRET IT!!

Anyways, his body's still missing.. and I've been obsessively clicking onto the breaking news section of The Age online just to C if he's been found.. but as the clock ticks, the hope slowly diminishes.. Later this evening.. i heard on the news that the body of his friend has been found... Gosh.. I'm just dreading tomorrow when I listen to the news to hear that his body has been found also.. I so hope not.. and pray for God's mercy upon Faheem's life.. cos he's the last person on earth that deserves this..
I guess it's moments like these that really remind u how precious our life truely is.. how we should never take each day for granted.. how important it is to grab a hold onto the memories you make with loved ones around you.. cos you never know when it is your turn to leave this earth..

When I was driving back from Warburton today (about an hour's drive) after my last pharmacy call, I kept on thinking how Faheem would've felt when he fell off the boat at 5am pitch dark at night with intoxicated ppl around him screaming too in the middle of the ocean.. The immense fear roaming around each soul.. Not knowing whether help would come, not knowing whether the sharks are nearby, not knowing whether his stamina will allow him to float till help comes.. The thought of seeing your life slowly ending before your face would've crossed his mind when he fell into the water.. and thinking to yourself who would've thought that my life would end at such a young age of 23y.o...and how 'I never got to say my proper goodbyes to my loved ones..' gosh that woulda hurt the most.. leaving the ppl behind.. and the fear of dying.. going to a place of unknown once you shut your eyes for good.. Those thoughts made me shed some tears for him..
I am still clinging to the 0.5% chance of him being alive.. praying that maybe just maybe he did swim his way back to shore.. a small tiny island with the Thai natives who he can't communicate with hence the delay of him being found....

I saw Faheem's dad on the news in Thailand.. sobbing his heart out at the reporters.. telling the world 'I just want to find my son..'